FAQ

Q: The obituary says "In lieu of flowers," but I still would like to send flowers – is this appropriate?

+ Answer

The death of a family member or close friend is one of life's most painful episodes. Those in mourning need support and most of us are anxious to find some way to comfort them. One of the most appropriate and appreciated ways to express sympathy and compassion, as well as respect for the deceased, is by sending flowers.

Occasionally, the obituary announcement includes the phrase "In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to...". Often times, this terminology is used to encourage charitable gifts but not necessarily to discourage other expressions. Most families sincerely appreciate all personal expressions and may later regret having too few flowers at the funeral. It is important that each giver make their own choice and many people are choosing to send a floral remembrance to the service or family home as well as a donation to the charity indicated. While a monetary donation is a worthy tribute, there is really no substitute for beautiful flowers at a sympathy service. They comfort the living as they commemorate the lives of the deceased.

For more information visit InLieuOfFlowers.info.

Reprinted with permission from InLieuOfFlowers.info

Q: How do I know what is appropriate when ordering flowers for a funeral?

+ Answer

Sympathy tributes vary. Our staff can make recommendations. Call Phone 816.291.4601

Sometimes we will know what the family has ordered or what other tributes are being sent and can suggest something that will be a nice complement to the other flowers. We are familiar with any restrictions the cemeteries might have. Additionally, if we are providing the family arrangements and the family has any special requests, we can pass that information on to you.

Q: I have seen a lot of different styles of floral arrangements at funeral services lately. What is best? How do I order a "special" design?

+ Answer

Highly personalized sympathy tributes that depict an aspect of a person's essence are a growing trend. If the deceased was a man who loved the outdoors, perhaps a tribute incorporating branches and natural materials would be ideal. If the deceased was an avid gardener, a tribute with a collection of garden flowers may be a perfect choice. Be prepared to give us a few hints about the person you want to memorialize. If you prefer to send a design that is more a reflection of your style, be sure to communicate that to our staff.

Q: I have seen a lot of different styles of floral arrangements at funeral services lately. What is best? How do I order a "special" design?

+ Answer

Highly personalized sympathy tributes that depict an aspect of a person's essence are a growing trend. If the deceased was a man who loved the outdoors, perhaps a tribute incorporating branches and natural materials would be ideal. If the deceased was an avid gardener, a tribute with a collection of garden flowers may be a perfect choice. Be prepared to give us a few hints about the person you want to memorialize. If you prefer to send a design that is more a reflection of your style, be sure to communicate that to our staff.

Q: I have seen a lot of different styles of floral arrangements at funeral services lately. What is best? How do I order a special or personalized design?

+ Answer

Highly personalized sympathy tributes that depict an aspect of a person's essence are a growing trend. If the deceased was a man who loved the outdoors, perhaps a tribute incorporating branches and natural materials would be ideal. If the deceased was an avid gardener, a tribute with a collection of garden flowers may be a perfect choice. Be prepared to give us a few hints about the person you want to memorialize. If you prefer to send a design that is more a reflection of your style, be sure to communicate that to our staff.

Q: Is it okay to send flowers to the family's home? If so, when is it appropriate to send them?

+ Answer

Yes, this is a wonderful way to express your sympathy and is a common trend. Some people choose to send flowers to the home immediately while others prefer to wait a week or more. There are no rules. Flowers can be a very comforting reminder during the grieving process that friends haven't forgotten.

Q: Is it still appropriate to send flowers if the death notice mentions a charitable donation?

+ Answer

Yes. Because flowers help say what is often difficult to express, they are always appropriate and in good taste. Flowers also play a functional role, adding warmth to the service and providing the visible emotional support that the family needs during this time.

Q: Is it acceptable to send roses or flowers in a glass vase to the funeral home?

+ Answer

From an etiquette standpoint this is perfectly acceptable; however, some funeral homes have rules about certain types of arrangements. We are familiar with what each Kansas City area funeral home allows.

Q: If several of us want to go in together for funeral flowers, how do we sign our names so the family knows how to thank us?

+ Answer

When groups go in together on flowers, the arrangements can be very special and make a larger showing. There should be room on the floral enclosure card for several names, but if there's not enough space it is best to sign as a group, such as "The Girls in Accounting" or "The Smith Family." Include a contact name and address on the card so the family knows whom to thank.

Q: Where did the tradition of sending funeral flowers come from?

+ Answer

Flowers have always played an important role in burial traditions because of their soothing qualities. In ancient cultures, floral and herb essences were used to anoint the bodies of the deceased and aromatic flowers and greens were displayed.

Q: Is it appropriate to send a plant to the funeral home? If so, will the funeral home send it to the family after the service?

+ Answer

Yes, it is appropriate to send a green or flowering plant. The funeral director will notify the family members that they may take the plants with them after the service.

Q: What is appropriate to send for a cremation?

+ Answer

A tastefully designed floral tribute adds beauty to any type of memorial service. It is common for the family to have an arrangement designed for display with the urn. Because cremation is becoming increasingly more common, we have included specific arrangements. See our selections here.

Q: I just heard the news… Is it too late to send flowers?

+ Answer

No matter when you hear the sad news, sending flowers is always appropriate. You can choose to send a flower arrangement to the service or home of the surviving family members.

Q: I am not sure how to sign the card. What should I say?

+ Answer

When writing a condolence note, Zunin and Zunin, authors of "The Art of Condolence" recommend including these components:

Acknowledge the loss and the name of the deceased. Express your sympathy. Note special qualities of the deceased. End the note with a thoughtful word, a hope, a wish or expression of sympathy.

Q: We collected money among the people in our office to send flowers. How do we sign the card?

+ Answer

You can sign it with the name of the business or group or use the individual names on the card. Try to keep the name list as concise as possible. You might want to get a larger greeting card and have everyone sign it as you collect the contributions. Then bring the card to the service. We can attach it to the design you are sending.

Q: We want to send a flower arrangement to the service that the Family can bring home after the funeral. Is this commonly done?

+ Answer

A: This is commonly done but there are points to consider:

Flower arrangements for a funeral service are usually designed to be viewed from one angle or are "one sided". There are no flowers seen from the back side. They also have a distinct look. They look like "Funeral Flowers". They are designed to look large, sometimes "fanned out". Using this design style allows the arrangement to look larger for the amount spent for flowers because it doesn't have to look beautiful from the back. The container may be inexpensive, throw away "mache" or plastic, allowing more value to go towards more flowers in the arrangement.

If the flowers are intended to be taken home our designers recommend that we create an arrangement more suited to being viewed on a coffee table or end table. This usually means an "all around" arrangement designed to look beautiful from any angle. A design like this will appear smaller than a "Funeral Arrangement" even though the same or more money was spent for flowers and container.

If you choose to send an arrangement suitable for display at home don't be disappointed if the arrangement appears smaller when placed next to a typical "Funeral Piece". The value is there. The difference is the design.

Another option for take home is to send a tropical house plant, blooming plant or basket garden.